girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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