I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
