worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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