i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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