would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
