she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
