and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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