Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
