The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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