Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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