Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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