They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
