youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
