no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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