Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Acid is not a monday night drug
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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