I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
