lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
As shirtless as possible
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
