Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
