I want to stick my p in your. b.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
