I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
