Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
