Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize