She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
