Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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