Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
