There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize