she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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