I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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