i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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