Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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