the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize