i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My vagina is officially offended.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
