I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
