i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
