Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
