I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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