So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize