The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
