Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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