There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
