people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
