i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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