I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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