I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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