it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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