she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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