My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
if only i could text you this smell
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Houston, we have a blender
You made out with two different species that night
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Pants are for mortals
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
