i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
