worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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