I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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