Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
