you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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