Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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