so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
