You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
