Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
