Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
why do cheetos always look like penises
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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