I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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