I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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