Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
