let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
